Grinding Halt
by Amina Bella
Summary: Olivia's world is turned upside down, shattered and brought back to life. Short oneshot.


"Alex, you don't mean that," Olivia began to argue. The words previously said by the blonde forever embedded into her heart._ I can't do this anymore_.

The blonde kept a short pace, back and forth, her arms tucked just below her breasts. Her face was red, and tear stained. "Olivia, I mean it." She stoped moving, and stood and stared the detective in the eyes. Her words were soft. Olivia could literally feel her heart slowly starting to unravel. The walls she had worked so hard to put up over the years, walls to keep people out because all they did was eventually leave, eventually crashed down for Alex. And she slowly felt them building back up. Stronger this time. Her heart felt like cement. Her chest ached. This couldn't be happening...

"We can fix this, Al. Whatever it is, we can fix it. I know we can," Olivia's voice cracked. Tears rimming her eyes, but not yet taking life outside of her sockets. She inhaled a shakey breath. "Alexandra, I love you so much. So. Much. Do you understand me?" Her voice was deep, still on the verge of losing it. "I love you more than I could possibly love anyone else, you can't just quit like this. We can fix this," Her voice shook and the tears finally spilled onto her cheeks, trailing down her face.

Alex studied the brunette's face a second before returning to pace around the living room. Olivia collapsed onto the couch, her head cradled in her hands. Her leg was frantically bouncing up and down, her sobs were racking her small frame. Seeing the usually strong detective break down before her made Alex almost doing this. _Almost_.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, a nervous habbit she could never break, Alex sat on the opposite end of the couch, leaving a huge gap inbetween them. Feeling the sudden shift in the couch, Olivia looked over to Alex. Her face was blotchy and her mascara had streaked her face. "Alex," Olivia choked out, almost a plea.

"Olivia," The blonde sighed, turning to face her. "With both of our hectic jobs, we never see each other. And when we do, it aways turns into an arguement over a case, or a victim, or something stupid that really doesn't need to be argued over. We can never _not _talk about work, because it's all we have in common. We're on edge all the time from lack of sleep." She stopped to take in a shakey breath. "This just isn't working anymore. As much as I love you," she felt her eyebrows bunch together, and her lips turn into a deep frown, she could feel the tears welling up deep within her. "as much as I love you, Olivia, this just isn't working. I'm so sorry," the tears finally fell and she started to walk towards the door.

"No!" Olivia shouted standing up. "No. You don't get to lay this shit on me, and walk out of here, Alex." Her voice was rising with each word, fury was swimming in her veins and she suddenly felt the need to punch something.

Alex backed away from the door knob, and turned to face her now ex-girlfriend of a year. Her ex-girlfriend whom she shared an apartment with, shared her life with for the past twelve months. The regret Alex was feeling was starting to get stronger, guilt was taking hold of her heart. But she couldn't back down. This was for the best, for both of them. Whether Olivia realised it now, or later. Alex really felt this is what she needed to do.

"Liv, there's nothing else to say," she couldn't look the detective in the eyes. She found her eyes focusing on everything around the brunette, but the brunette herself.

"So, this is it? This is the end? After everything we've gone through, after everything...it's over? Just like that?" Olivia was trying to hold it together, but was failing miserably. The water works started back up, and her voice seemed to stop working.

Alex stared at the floor in front of her chewing on her top lip. "I should go," Olivia rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air in defeat.

"Fuck it, Alex. Just go, okay?" Anger enveloped Olivia fully. She walked by the small table by their couch and flung it to the floor, causing the bulb in it to bust in front of Alex. She stood back in shock, never having seen this side of the detective before.

"Olivia," The blonde's voice was soft, calming, almost loving. This only pissed Olivia off more. "Don't, Alex. Just don't. Leave. Walk away." And with that Alex headed for the door, turned the knob, opened it and left leaving a very scared, angry and hurt Olivia to the silence of the apartment.

A few hours after Alex had left, Olivia had managed to destroy their previously perfect, nothing-out-of-place apartment. Shards of glass were litered through out the kitchen and living room, the couch was tipped over, the coffee table had a giant dent in the middle. Olivia managed to get the energy to walk into their room, but collapsed in the corner. Her hands were bloody from punching walls and anything that got in her way, her face was a shocking shade of red, her eyes were swollen and her hair was tossled with sweat and tears.

Something snapped within her. Her tears had stopped, and she stared straight in front of her with no emotion on her face, her mind was racing in warp speed, completley in trance by her thoughts. The ringing of her cell phone from on the bed brought her back to reality. Not having the energy to get up or to even move at all, she opted for her voicemail to get it.

After slew of rings filled the silent room, her phone beeped letting her know that the caller had left a voicemail. Still having no energy to move, she continued to sit in the corner, her head swimming with numorous thoughts, her face was stiff from the dried tears and her body ached. Suddenly everything started blur and she felt dizzy. She leaned her head back against the wall, then suddenly, everything went black.

Olivia awoke with Alex cupping her face, smoothing her thumbs over her flushed cheeks. Olivia's eyes focused on the face before her. Her eyes darted around, seeing everything before her perfectly fine. The apartment was intact. She looked down at her hands and saw no blood. Her eye brows scrunched together and her eyes continued to shift frantically around, completley confused by her surroundings. Had Alex came back and cleaned everthing?

"Baby, say something, look at me," Alex's voice was gentle. "Olivia, you're okay, look at me," Olivia's eyes trailed to the bright blue one's in front of her.

"Alex?" Olivia's voice broke, she started to tremble and cry all over again. Alex's eyes widened in shock, utterly confused by the detective's behaviour.

"Liv, what's wrong?" Alex brushed the few strands of hair that had fallen into the brunette's face away, tucking them behind her ears.

"You left," Olivia whispered. "You left me," her face scrunched up as she cried. "Why are you back?" Olivia demanded, her face morphing into an angry scowl.

The look on Alex's face alarmed the detective. She looked confused and hurt and slightly amused. "Olivia, I never left you, what are you talking about? Did you have a bad dream?"

Suddenly, Olivia realised that she wasn't in the corner of their bedroom. She looked down and saw that she was on their bed, the comferter bunched around her body.

"I...I..." Olivia studdered, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. She looked at Alex and threw her arms around her, pulling her in closely. "It was just a dream," Olivia realised. The blonde ran soothing circles on her girlfriend's back.

Pulling back from the hug, Alex looked into Olivia's eyes. "Sweetheart, I'd never leave you, you know that. I'm going to be right here until the day I die," Olivia's lips quivered as a new stream of tears spilled down her face.

"It seemed so real, Al," Olivia began. "It was so horrible. You broke up with me, and left. You just left me alone in our apartment. And I destroyed it..." Her eyes darted around recalling the bits of her dream.

The blonde pulled her in for a soft kiss, resting their foreheads together. "I'd never leave you, honey. I love you too much to walk away," Olivia moved her head to the blonde's shoulder and let out a sigh of relief.

"It just seemed so real."

Alex gave her a sympethetic smile before kissing her again. "Why'd we break up?" Alex asked. "Because," she breathed out a deep breath, "because you said we had nothing in common. That work was our only common interest and that we always argued and fought over stupid shit," she snuggled into the crook of Alex's neck.

"Well, all of that is sort of true, but I'd never leave you for it," Alex assured her. "It's refreshing being with someone whom you don't really have any of the same interests in. You learn new things. You grow more from those things, and you learn to adapt to the other person's interests, which, you know, makes you share the same interests," Alex raised a confused eye brow at what she just said, it didn't fully come out they way she intended to, (being overly tired does that to a person) but she could see that Olivia got the gist.

"I love you," Olivia whispered into her neck, lightly kissing her there.

"I love you, too, baby," She replied, rubbing her back.

"Sleep with me?" Olivia asked. Alex nodded and layed down on the bed, spooning up behind the brunette after she flicked off the lamp on the nightstand.

Throwing a protective arm around Olivia's waste, Alex snuggled into her further.

"Alex?" Olivia asked into the darkness.

"Hmmm?"

"If you ever leave me, I think I'd probably kill you."

Alex grinned and kissed Olivia on the back of the head, "Noted."

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><p>Bad nights cause me to write stupidly stupid fics. Review here on or Twitter: gayzzoli<p> 


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